A Crazy Night with Bill Murray

For several years I’ve known about a celebrity golf tournament put on by actor Bill Murray and his brothers located in St. Augustine, FL, but I had never attempted to make the long drive up there from Orlando. I finally decided to make the trip along with my brother, whom we nickname Pretty Boy Floyd, and two buddies; Doc and Neurotic John. We all call him that because John tends to be nervous and fidgety around celebrities and worried we may not get to them for one reason or the other. Don’t get me wrong though, he’s a good person and can be alot of laughs at times, so he’s cemented a spot within our circle of friends.

We finally arrive after spending a couple hours on the road and pull up to a get together for the Caddyshack golf tournament. It was guarded fairly well and blocked off with security at every entrance possible and every guest had a badge indicating they belonged at this party. We were out of luck, but we certainly do not give up that easily, especially after the long haul just to get to the place. The four of us search around and scope the area out. We split up as Pretty Boy Floyd and Doc searched the hotels while myself and Neurotic John head to the actual venue where the party was held. We kept a distance as to not be recognized by security and very shortly after looking around we spot Bill Murray himself mingling with a few guests. We couldn’t approach him as he was standing within a roped off VIP section and we didn’t have the badges to get near in the first place. So close, yet so far away.

We all met to regroup and figure out some kind of game plan on what to do. We didn’t come all this way to leave empty handed. John stayed behind for a moment as the rest of us headed to go retrieve some items from the car. While we were in the parking lot, Doc noticed someone carrying several badges to the event. He spoke with him briefly and we ended up with three badges, unfortunately John wasn’t with us and there were no extra badges. We met back up with Neurotic John and showed him we now had entrance to the event and figured we would scope it out and if need be switch out the passes with one another.

The three of us then head to the event which was extremely loud with live music and a bunch of people all crammed together. We can’t spot Bill Murray as he kept going in and out of a private section attached to a restaurant. We ended up listening to Javier Colon performing on stage, winner of season one of The Voice. We had no idea he was even going to be at the event, so we had nothing for him to sign, but after his performance he gladly took pictures with us.

It took a long while before we finally had our shot one on one with Bill Murray, but eventually he came out of his private area and took pictures with a few guests in which he almost had no choice because of the close proximity. He rushed along quickly, never staying in the same spot very long, and our little group caught him in full stride as he seemed to unwilling take pictures. Bill didn’t sign anything at all, but Doc jumped in right next to him and I snapped a very quick picture. I handed my camera off to my brother and took a fast picture as well which was maybe a mere two seconds with him. All the while, Bill is walking around headed back to his private VIP area. My brother hands me the camera for his turn for a picture, but Murray refused to acknowledge him and kept on going. I took a picture while the two of them, my brother and Bill, were close enough together, but he was not looking at the camera. Poor Neurotic John wasn’t as aggressive and was sadly left with nothing. This left a sour taste in all our mouths, despite a couple of us getting a picture.

We walked around and ran into one of Bill’s brothers, Joel Murray, an actor as well but not to the extent of his older brother. Joel completely reeked of alcohol and was absolutely drunk. Continuing to drink with slurred speech and all, we chat with him and ask if he’ll sign a few autographs. He replies “You, you, want my autograph? Everyone sh-should have my autograph.” I’m not sure Joel knew which planet he was on at the time, but he managed to sign a few items and take pictures with us.

Later on Bill Murray got up on the stage area and tried to sing with the band. At this point, Bill was just as wasted as his brother Joel, and was completely out of it. He stumbled around and slurred his speech through a couple of terrible renditions to classic songs which was the conclusion of the party. A few of us waited by a vehicle we thought was going to pick up Bill and take him away for the night. He came out, more wasted than ever, and refused to take part in any pictures or autographs for the fans. What came next was even more surprising. Bill wasn’t being picked up, he was driving! Despite several security guards and local police department on hand for the evening, they turned a blind eye as Bill drove away to put an end to the night.